Aside from Poetry ...

First I should say, "Grab a drink, settle into your comfy chair and put your feet up.

It's a  L O N G story!"

I am a very outspoken though not loud woman who believes in Peace, Tolerance, Compassion and Harmony. I am Canadian, vegetarian, Buddhist, Libra, a pacifist and an activist.  I follow a path of non-violence and promote love for all beings, human and otherwise. When I am not writing poetry my time is spent grooming and training dogs in downtown Toronto. Playing guitar, carving female forms in soapstone and planning for my future are some of the creative things I enjoy. I love to paint with acrylics and watercolours but my favourite medium is the pen. 

I had filled almost 4 hard cover Journals with poetry from the time I was 12 until the fall of 2002.  All 4 of my handwritten poetry books were stolen during a break-in while I was away for 2 weeks. All the poetry I had written in my life was in those books and in one instant it was lost. Some poems were scattered in the archives of this website, a not-yet-finished manuscript on floppy disk, and my patchy memory. Over time, I have been able to remember bits and pieces of some of the poems from my teens, but I know there are at least 250 that I will never see again. It was heartbreaking but I emerged stronger and more mature in my writing.  I am also much more careful to make multiple copies. 

Included in the lost pages were poems about another obstacle in my life. I had been in the US in September of 1996 showing my Rottweilers when life suddenly threw me a very tough challenge.  During a monthly self-exam I found a lentil sized lump in my right breast. Being diligent about my BSE every month, I knew this was something new. I immediately saw a doctor at the health clinic who told me it was a cyst and if I stopped drinking coffee it would go away.

I was refused a mammogram because I was under 40 and therefore too young to have breast cancer.

I went home and did as I was told, going from my one cup a day to none. I even gave away my tea bags. By October the lump was still there but the size had doubled. Again I was told it was a cyst and not to worry. In November, with a walnut sized growth in my breast that I could feel no matter where I pressed I asked for another doctor and was referred to a breast specialist. Through a needle biopsy he withdrew about 50 cc's (mls) of fluid from the "cyst", frowned and sent me home with the reassurance that 32 was indeed too young to have breast cancer*.  On December 22, 1996, I went back with a rock hard breast and a honey coloured discharge from my right nipple. The doctor aspirated more fluid from the breast, this time to be sent to the lab and said he would call me in a few days with the results.  I took a cab home to wait it out, already knowing what the results would be. Just 20 minutes after I got in the door, the specialist called me personally to tell me that he had run the tests himself after I left the clinic. The fluid's colour was "supsicious" and that coupled with the discharge prompted him to be concerned. He regretted to inform me that there were malignant cells in the fluid. I was in Stage 2 of a very aggressive breast cancer.  

The esteemed Doc explained the abnormally rapid growth and the need to "act quickly". Ironically, if they had in fact "acted quickly" and I had been given a Mammogram three months earlier when I first felt the lump it could have been removed through a tiny incision(lumpectomy)and left an almost invisible scar. Instead I lost my entire right breast and all the lymph glands in that underarm. 

The enemy is a silent one. There is rarely pain involved and only an outward sign in rare cases. All I felt besides the ever-growing lump was fatigue.

I was thousands of miles from home and in no financial position to change that. This left me trapped in a strange town with no family or friends for support.

But the kind Universe sent me some wonderful women who brought me soup and rubbed my legs when my bone marrow ached so badly that I cried. They even rushed me to Emergency when I fell into a coma after 3 days of non-stop vomiting.

Never underestimate the healing power of a nurturing woman!

Following my mastectomy on January 8th I had adjuntive chemotherapy until April of 1997 and have been cancer free ever since. AMAZON! 

Please  Click the Pink Ribbon to fund a free Mammogram...

It costs NOTHING to give and means EVERYTHING to receive. 

*(I have since learned that the youngest documented case of breast cancer was a 12 year old girl).

"Inhale every breath like it is filled with roses!" Karen Godson